How to Ask for Help Without Burning Bridges

These Subtle Mistakes Might Be Sabotaging You!

Don’t Make These Simple Mistakes!

A few weeks ago, I got a LinkedIn message from a founder asking if I'd take a look at their pitch deck. They were fundraising for their startup, and while I admired their hustle, the opportunity wasn’t in my investing lane.

When I politely declined and explained it wasn’t a fit, they replied: “No problem! Will you make a warm intro to X (a friend of mine who runs a family office)?”

I paused. How did they know I was friends with her? I guess they had seen us together in a social media post.

Keep in mind, this founder and I had never met beyond this LinkedIn exchange. And yet, they were asking me to make a “warm intro” to a personal contact—an ask that, by definition, implies I knew them and would be vouching for them.

But there was no relationship. Just one message.

It got me thinking…In our eagerness to move fast and make connections, have we lost sight of some relationship fundamentals that actually make us more effective?

So today I want to talk about modern etiquette. Not the Emily Post kind, but the kind that lives at the intersection of ambition, networking, and relationships—especially in business.

Because in a world increasingly shaped by AI and automation, the ability to connect in a genuine way is the new superpower.

Here's a gentle guide for ambitious people who want to build bridges, not burn them.

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1. When you’re asking for a favor, make it easy.

If you’re the one asking for time, advice, or an intro, try not to also put the burden on the other person to make it happen.

Example: Telling someone to book a time through your Calendly link when you're the one asking for a meeting.

I get it. Calendly is efficient. But when you're asking for someone's time, making them click through your scheduling system and hunt for an available slot feels like you're giving that person extra work. Instead, offering a few open windows (or asking what works best for them) shows consideration. It flips the energy from "here's another task for you" to "I'm here to make this easy."

Another example: If you're asking for an intro, provide a short blurb they can copy and paste. Something like: "Here's a quick note you can forward if it makes sense: 'Hi [Name], I'd love to introduce you to [Your name], who's building [brief description]. I thought you two might have an interesting conversation about [specific shared interest]. Let me know if you'd like me to make the connection!'"

Little things like that go a long way.

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2. Do your homework.

Before you ask someone for help, take the time to understand who they are and what they care about.

That doesn't mean deep-diving into their entire online presence—it just means showing genuine curiosity and respect. Read an article they've written. Watch a talk they've given. Listen to a podcast episode where they shared their story. And if they've written a book? Truly, read it.

I'm always flattered when people ask, "How did you build Sprinkles?" or "What advice do you have for a first-time founder?" But I also spent a year of my life writing those answers into a book that's available at every major bookseller — and I did it to be able to help as many people as I can, just by answering those very questions.

If you're sending a deck or looking for an investment , make an effort to see what the person invests in. You can still send the AI deck to the CPG investor, but it should come with a caveat: "I know you typically don't invest in this space, but thought that someone in your network might find it valuable" — or "I would so love your thoughts on the deck itself."

It may sound simple, but this one habit sets you apart. It shows you're not just asking for a shortcut—you're showing up prepared, engaged, and serious about your growth.

And here's the bonus: when you do your homework, you ask better questions. Which means you'll get so much more out of the conversation.

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3. Offer something before you ask for something.

You don't need to send gifts. Just be thoughtful.

Engage with their work. Leave a meaningful comment. Share something they created and say what resonated. Prove you're not just paying attention—but invested.

This is especially true when you're looking for mentorship. Many of the most meaningful mentorship relationships I've had started with someone who engaged with my work before asking for anything. By the time they reached out, I already had a sense of who they were. And I genuinely wanted to help.

Sometimes 'offering something' can be as simple as making a connection for them first, or sharing their work with your network when it would genuinely help your audience.

Relationships are built on reciprocity.

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4. Respect the warm intro.

Recently, I was invited to speak at an event, but the date didn't work with my schedule. The next day, the organizer followed up—not to reschedule, but to ask if I'd introduce them to some of my other female founder friends instead.

It made me pause. It started to feel less about collaborating with me—and more about gaining access to my network. Just like that LinkedIn contact.

Here's the thing: a warm intro means I know you well enough to vouch for you. If we've never met, and you're asking me to connect you with someone I trust, that's not a warm intro. That's an ask.

That doesn't mean you can't get there. But the onus is on you to make the connection make sense.

Do your homework. Share a compelling reason for the intro. Show why it would be valuable for the person on the other end—not just for you. And when you ask? Make it easy. Provide background. Draft the blurb.

Because a warm intro isn't about proximity. It's about trust.

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5. Accept 'no' with grace.

Sometimes people decline meetings. Or don’t respond. Or turn down your ask. It’s rarely personal.

Most of the time, it just means: “I don’t have capacity right now.”

I’m a big fan of a follow-up email to ensure your message didn’t land in the Junk folder. But timing matters—if you're asking for something, and then following up a couple of days later, it can come across as pushy.

A little patience goes a long way.

And if the answer is still no? A graceful response like “Thanks so much for considering. I understand you're busy, please keep me in mind if anything changes.” leaves the door open.

Grace in the face of rejection? That's how you turn a 'no' into a 'not yet.

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Final Thought:

We all need help along the way. And most people who’ve found success genuinely want to pay it forward. But how you ask makes a big difference.

In a world rushing toward automation, showing up as a thoughtful human is a memorable move.The goal isn’t to hack your way into someone’s calendar. The goal is to build relationships that last.

So, go out there and start cultivating the relationships that lead to dream mentors, ideal investors, and meaningful partnerships!!

XO,
candace

PS: What about you? What’s a piece of modern etiquette you think everyone should know? What advice do you have for building authentic relationships in the business world? I’d love to hear your thoughts.